“Coach to success”
So we’ve built the trust, learned through curiosity…now, we’re coaching.
A wise leader early in my career shared these words with me, “coach to success.” I remember him asking me a lot of questions when I came to him with challenges. And, I remember thinking, “jeez, doesn’t this guy know the answers – why won’t he just tell me what to do?” But, as it turned out, I learned how to answer my own questions over time. He listened, posed questions, and helped me self-discover the path forward. Leaders who believe their team has the answers within themselves, ask vs. tell, and coach to success, win in the long run.
A quick lesson on coaching. Coaching in a nutshell is actively listening, asking questions, and refraining from giving advice. It requires a leader to resist the urge to tell, and to patiently ask and listen. To coach to success, 1) promote self-discovery, 2) focus forward, and 3) gain the “will” commitment.
When we self-discover our path forward, we are far more likely to commit to it. Remember what it was like to be a child, and your parents told you to do something or gave you advice on how to handle a situation? How likely were we to commit to their idea? Same applies for leaders. We are far less likely to commit to someone else’s idea than our own. As leaders, it’s our job to coach our team through situations, asking questions like, “what do you think?” It drives the accountability back to the individual. It leaves less room for procrastination. The “what” and “how” questions from last time get people to self-discover. The difference with open-ended questions, is the person articulates the problem, situation, or opportunity according to their own point of view. In turn, they brainstorm solutions or ideas based on what they believe. Remember the adage, “when we believe, we achieve.” It may sound cheesy, but our brains are wired to believe what we tell it. If we internalize a belief, our brain is programmed to make it happen.
I have had leaders tell me that they tell their team “I don’t know” when they ask for advice. That’s hard. When you have mastered coaching, you will feel comfortable saying this, because you will have seen the results from self-discovery. When people self-discover their path forward, the results are far more sustainable. And, over time, as a leader, your job is easier because you are not in firefighter mode or having to “babysit” your team. They know what to do without you being there.
Leave the past in the past. What happened six months ago is irrelevant. It just doesn’t matter. If we choose to focus on the past, we will not move forward. Notice a key word here – choose. We have choices in how we choose to perceive the world around us. For those pessimists, a rainy day is a bad day. For optimists, it provides an opportunity to get things done inside. It’s all a matter of perception. When we choose to focus forward, we achieve the results we will achieve. I often remind clients to focus on what we will do vs. what we could have done in the past. Asking, “what is possible?” is a great tool to gain commitment to focus forward. Another favorite, is asking, “what do you want?” Simple, but powerful. When you really focus and listen to what the person says, the answer may surprise you. Help them remove the obstacles, the assumptions based on past experiences, and focus on the future. Ask, “based on what?” to challenge assumptions and “what if that were not true?” to overcome obstacles. Focus on what we have the genuine possibility to influence, and we move forward.
Gain the “will” commitment
The will vs. the want. There is a big difference between wanting to do something and saying you will do something. When I ask leaders this question, they often say, “I want to do a lot of things, but when I say I will do something, I actually commit to doing it.” There are a variety of coaching models that all conclude with a “will” or commitment – see GROW or TIPS models for more information. Both models provide a proven process with the structure to get there.
Help your team commit through encouraging an affirmative statement using “will.” The level of increased commitment is resounding. Better yet, have them write it down and display it somewhere in their workspace. When you hear phrases like, “I will try to do that” or “I want to do this,” coach them. Repeat “want?” or “try?” to the team member, and they will correct it to “will.” Soon these words will disappear from their vocabulary. Make it a regularly used word in your team meetings and touchpoints, and commitment will grow over time.
Leaders that coach see better business results. How will you coach your team?